Over the past month, I have been spending some time trying to re-learn how to follow my inner guidance. This is a skill that I lost somewhere along the way of being an adult. I was letting myself get frustrated over this fact because I couldn’t figure out when I had lost this ability.
When I was in my teens and twenties, I remember acting on my inner guidance many times. I remember the biggest moment that I managed to listen to my gut feeling instead of listening to my brain. My brain loves to think and analyze, so to listen to my gut can be a great privilege sometimes. Back in 1995 when my son was 15 months old, I decided that I hated having a 9-5 job. Actually I think I decided back when I was 13 years old that I was not going to enjoy being an employee. I always knew I wanted to be my own boss.
However, I went to college and followed the crowd and got a real job. Every part of me hated working. I didn’t mind the work at all. In fact, I loved the type of work I chose and the field I was in. I just didn’t like being tied to a desk working on someone’s else schedule, on projects that someone else chose. The hours were not convenient for me, and some of the jobs were not what I would have chosen.
My inner guidance at the time told me to quit my job. My brain knew that my husband and son were counting on my income. We needed this job to survive. My inner guidance, my heart, my gut, whatever you want to call it just knew that I couldn’t continue with the job.
I was putting my son into day care every day and that tore at my heart to hear him cry at drop off and pick up. I was missing everything and someone else was raising him just so I could go into an office where someone else was telling me what to do all day. This lifestyle just didn’t fit my personality.
I told no one except my husband that I was planning on quitting. I didn’t want to hear any advice from anyone. I was listening to my inner guidance and knew what was right for me. I didn’t yet know I had an inner guidance, but I could feel it was there. It was speaking very strongly and for some reason I wasn’t the least bit afraid to listen to it. The decision to quit my job with no other plan yet created just felt like the right thing to do, so I quit.
Things worked out perfectly, and within 2 weeks I became a self-employed consultant doing the same work I was doing at my job. Only now I did the projects that I wanted to do and worked the hours that I wanted to work. Life was great.
That was one of the best decisions I have ever made since getting married. I have never regretted that decision. It took me down paths that I would never have gone had I listened to my head or to anyone else.
I am now struggling to listen to my inner guidance once more. I’m sure it has been speaking to me for years, but I have not been listening. I learned through a discussion at a woma\en’s mastermind group that I think I stopped listening when my kids were little. I had to continuously ignore what I felt was right for me in order to nurture my family in ways that I felt were right for them. I stopped thinking about myself; I stopped thinking about what I needed and what my inner guidance was saying. This was wrong.
I realize now what I have done and what I need to do to get back on track. I need to start listening to my inner guidance for my sake and for my family’s. I need to listen to my inner guidance for my own sanity. It feels refreshing just to tell you about it, and to know that I will be paying more attention to it in the months to come.
Please share with us stories of when you listened to your inner guidance. How has the opportunity changed your life? Have you benefitted from this, or have you too, decided to ignore yours for the sake of doing what your brain, or your loved ones, think is right?